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LETTER610
CHARLESLAMBTOH.F.CARY
Oct.,1834.
IprotestIknownotinwhatwordstoinvestmysenseoftheshamefulviolationofhospitality,whichIwasguiltyofonthatfatalWednesday.Letitbeblottedfromthecalendar.Haditbeenmittedatalaymanshouse,sayamerchantsormanufacturers,acheesemongersorgreengrocers,or,togohigher,abarristers,amemberofParliaments,arichbankers,Ishouldhavefeltalleviation,adropofself-pity.Buttobeseendeliberatelytogooutofthehouseofaclergymandrunk!aclergymanoftheChurchofEnglandtoo!notthatalone,butofanexpounderofthatdarkItalianHierophant,anexpositionlittleshortofhiswhodaredunfoldtheApocalypse:divineriddlesbothand(withoutsupernalgracevouchsafed)Arksnottobefingeredwithoutpresentblastingtothetouchers.And,then,fromwhathouse!Notamonglebeorvicarage(whichyethadbeenshameful),butfromakinglyrepositoryofsciences,humananddivine,withtheprimateofEnglandforitsguardian,arrayedinpublicmajesty,fromwhichtheprofanevulgararebidfly.Couldallthosevolumeshavetaughtmenothingbetter!WithfeverisheyesonthesucceedingdawnIopeneduponthefaintlight,enoughtodistinguish,inastrangechambernotimmediatelytoberecognised,garters,hose,waistcoat,neckerchief,arrangedindreadfulorderandproportion,whichIknewwasnotmineown.Tisthemonsymptom,onawaking,IjudgemylastnightsconditionfroAtolerablescatteringonthefloorIhailasbeingtooprobablymyown,andifthecandlestickbenotremoved,Iassoilmyself.Butthisfinicalarrangement,thisfindingeverythinginthemorninginexactdiametricalrectitude,tormentsme.BywhomwasIdivested?Burningblushes!notbythefairhandsofnymphs,theBuffamGraces?RemotewhisperssuggestedthatIcoachedithomeintriumph—farbethatfromworkingprideinme,forIwasunconsciousofthelootion;thatayoungMentoracpaniedareprobateoldTelemachus;that,theTrojanlike,heborehischargeuponhisshoulders,whilethewretchedincubus,inglimmeringsense,hiccupeddrunkensnatchesofflyingonthebatswingsaftersunset.Anagedservitorwasalsohintedat,tomakedisgracemoreplete:one,towhommyignominymayofferfurtheroccasionsofrevolt(towhichhewasbeforetoofondlyinclining)fromthetruefaith;for,atasightofmyhelplessness,whatmorewasneededtodrivehimtotheadvocacyofindependency?OccasionledmethroughGreatRussellStreetyesterday.Igazedatthegreatknocker.Myfeeblehandsinvainessayedtoliftit.IdreadedthatArgusPortitor,whodoubtlesslanternedmeoutonthatprodigiousnight.IcalledtheElginianmarbles.Theywerecoldtomysuit.Ishallneveragain,Isaid,onthewidegatesunfolding,saywithoutfearofthrustingback,inalightbutaperemptoryair,"IamgoingtoMr.Carys."IpassedbythewallsofBalclutha.IhadimagedtomyselfazodiacofthirdWednesdaysirradiatingbyglimpsestheEdmontondulness.IdreamedofHighmore!Iamde-vitedtoeonWednesdays.Villanousoldagethat,withsecondchildhood,bringslinkedhandinhandherinseparabletwin,newinexperience,whichknowsnoteffectsofliquor.WhereIwastohavesateforasober,middle-aged-and-a-halfgentleman,literarytoo,theneat-fingeredartistcaneducenonotionsbutofadissoluteSilenus,lecturingnaturalphilosophytoajeeringChromiusoraMnasilus.Pudet.Fromthecontextgatherthelostnameof——.
["TheBuffamGraces."LambslandladiesatSouthamptonBuildings.
"IpassedbythewallsofBalclutha."FromOssian.Lambusesthis"ationinhisEliaessayontheSouth-SeaHouse.
"Highmore."Icannotexplainthisreference.
NotlongbeforeMrs.ProctersdeathaletterfromCharlesLambtoMrs.BasilMontaguwassold,inwhichLambapologisedforhavingbeeintoxicatedwhilevisitingherthenightbefore.SomeonementionedtheletterinMrs.Procterspresence."Ah,"shesaid,"buttheyhaventseenthesecondletter,whichIhaveupstairs,writtennextday,inwhichhesaidthatmymothermightaskhimagainwithsafetyashenevergotdrunktwiceinthesamehouse."Unhappily,alargenumberofLambsandotherletterswereburnedbyMrs.Procter.]
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